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Sara Blakely, the billionaire founder of Spanx, credits an unconventional lesson from her upbringing for shaping her mindset: the redefinition of failure. While most people view failure as an end, Sara learned to see it as a beginning, thanks to her father’s unique parenting approach.
Photo: Jamel Toppin/The Forbes Collection
Flipping the Script on Failure
Growing up, Sara’s father would ask her and her brother at the dinner table, “What did you fail at this week?” If they had no answer, he’d express disappointment. This turned the concept of failure on its head—failure wasn’t about the outcome but about the courage to try something new. High-fives replaced shame, and Sara began equating failure with growth.
For example, when she auditioned for cheerleading and didn’t make the cut, her dad celebrated the effort. Even better, he’d ask, “What positive came out of it?” This encouraged her to find silver linings, like meeting her best friend at the tryouts.
Failure as a Path to Growth
Blakely’s father didn’t just celebrate attempts—he instilled a habit of reflection. Whenever Sara failed, he asked her to identify the benefits or lessons she gained from the experience. This reframing helped her embrace failure as a tool for personal and professional growth.
In her entrepreneurial journey, this mindset proved invaluable. When developing Spanx, Sara faced countless rejections and challenges. But instead of being paralyzed by fear, she saw every setback as a stepping stone. It’s this philosophy that allowed her to turn $5,000 in savings into a global empire.
Why Failure is a Gift
Many of history’s greatest innovators share this belief. Thomas Edison famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Similarly, Sara’s approach underscores that failure is simply a part of the process.
An inspiring modern-day example is Dyson founder James Dyson, who created 5,127 prototypes before arriving at the perfect vacuum cleaner design. Every "failure" was a lesson that brought him closer to success.
The Takeaway
Blakely’s story reminds us that the fear of failure is often more debilitating than failure itself. By redefining failure as not trying, she unlocked the courage to take risks, learn from missteps, and grow.
For anyone chasing dreams, remember: failure isn’t the opposite of success—it’s part of the journey. Embrace it, learn from it, and high-five yourself for trying. You never know what best friend, opportunity, or breakthrough might come out of your next cheerleading tryout.
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